A Veritable Vegetarian Feast

Do you ever feel so out of shape or out of sorts that your neck is too wimpy to hold up your head? Perhaps you need some veggies!

A couple of weeks ago I watched the movie Food, Inc., and I’ve been pretty hesitant to buy meat ever since. If you’ve seen the film, you know what I’m talking about. So here are two vegetarian (albeit NOT vegan) dishes that you can prepare with some ingredients from the local farmers’ market, featuring some pretty delicious dairy products that would make even Wallace smile.

Wake up in the morning and get out your cucumbers, plain yogurt, salt, and red onion in order to prep for a summer cucumber salad.

Use your fancy mandoline slicer to thin-cut two fresh cucumbers.

Cut the onion in half, and slice it up into half moons. Throw your sliced veggies into a colander, and set it over a bowl, like so.

Toss the veggies with some salt. Cover your colander/bowl rig and set in the fridge for at least four hours (or overnight, if you want). The goal is to leech some of the liquid out of the vegetables so they won’t make for a soggy salad. After several hours, you’ll find this in the bottom of the bowl:

Crazy! I guess cucumbers and onions are mostly water in the first place.

Do something similar with 1 1/2 cups of plan yogurt. Fix up a strainer over a bowl or pot, and line it with a paper towel. Chuck the yogurt into your contraption and stick it in the fridge for at least four hours (or, again, overnight).

The yogurt will thicken as the liquid strains out. It will turn into a delicious consistency, almost like spreadable cheeeeeeeeeese. NOM.

While you’re waiting on the cucumbers and yogurt to drain, snuggle up with your favorite bad boy. Mine’s Judd Nelson.

Hubba hubba. I couldn’t ignore you if I tried, Judd.

(4 hours of ’80s movies later . . .)

Start making an onion pie!

I never once said that this vegetarian meal would be healthy. So go and get some Ritz-knockoff-brand crackers and buttah.

Take about a sleeve of those crackers and crush them up into two cups of cracker crumbs. Throw the crumbs into your mixer, along with (*sigh*) 6 tbsp. of butter.

You could probably do this by hand, but why waste the energy? 

Squish the crumb mixture into a pie plate. This is going to be your super delicious crust for the onion pie.

I baked this crust at 350 degrees for about ten minutes, then pulled it out to prepare the filling. Which is:

Some superdelicious sweet onions (2 cups chopped), and:

salt, 2 eggs, and milk. Whip the eggs, salt and 3/4 cup of milk together.

Then saute your chopped onions in 2 tbsp. of butter for about 10 minutes.

Once the onions are translucent and soft, spread them evenly over your slightly-baked pie crust.

Pour the egg-milk mixture on top.

And sprinkle with some grated cheddar. 

Add some paprika if you like.

Toss back into the 350-degree oven for another 35 minutes. In the meantime, get your drained cucumbers and turn them out onto a towel.

Pat them with the towel to make sure they are as dry as possible. They need to be ready to soak up some of that yogurt-y goodness.

The hard work is done! Throw the veggies back into the bowl, along with the drained yogurt, a 1/3 cup of sour cream, a tablespoon of red wine vinegar, and 1/4 cup of chopped dill. That’s right—this salad is delicious.

Mix it up and throw back into the fridge until dinnertime. 

HELLOOOOO, salad! Is it still a salad when it’s coated in dairy product? I say YES.

Speaking of dairy, how about that butter—I mean—onion pie?

Yeah, I think there’s more butter here than onion. 

Time for a romantical dinner. Light some candles, get out the cloth napkins, set the table, and put your strawberry Fanta in a classy coozy.

I’d suggest inviting someone over, but who needs a date when you live with the world’s most modest cat?

There is nothing I can do about this.

Ingredient recap:

Creamy Cucumber Salad (adapted from one of Ina G’s recipes)

  • 2 cucumbers, sliced thin
  • 1/2 red onion, sliced into half moons
  • salt
  • 1 1/2 cups plain, whole-milk yogurt
  • 1 tbsp. red wine vinegar
  • 1/3 cup sour cream
  • 1/4 cup chopped dill
  • pepper to taste (if you want)

Onion Pie (from Epicurious.com)

  • 2 cups Ritz cracker crumbs
  • 1 stick butter (6 tbps for the crust, 2 tbps to cook the onions)
  • 2 cups chopped sweet onions
  • 3/4 cup whole milk (skim won’t work!)
  • 2 eggs
  • salt
  • 3/4 cup cheddar cheese, shredded
  • paprika




3 responses to “A Veritable Vegetarian Feast

  1. Next time you’re in Nashville, we need to have a Breakfast Club screening! It is, hands down, my favorite movie (followed closely by Dead Poets Society)!! I am definitely going to try the butter, er, onion pie!

  2. Wheeee! You are a genius! Where on God’s green earth did you find strawberry Fanta?? Scotty, if you make this pie I will be inviting myself over.

  3. Hehe, hilarious! And it looks delicious! Mowmow approves. She said she’d like a piece that she could barf all over our duvet.

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