Top Chef Dorks – a “tag-team blog experiment”

Jennifer and I are tag-teaming this one. It will probably be a disaster, but it didn’t seem fair for just one of us to monopolize the beautiful experience that we’re about to chronicle for you.

So here goes.

Joce: If we haven’t made it clear already, Catherine, Jennifer, and I live in what we believe to be the rocking-est neighborhood in Nashville. Hillsboro Village is cute, quirky, trendy, convenient, and oh-so-appealing to the emo kids who don’t live anywhere nearby. Sometimes I feel too uncool for my own hood when faced with the flocks of legginged fauxhawks and tea-drinking all-season scarf-wearers. To them, we have this to say: TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS

But the alienation I feel is beside the point. On Friday we were reminded of how truly precious and picturesque our living situation can be . . . when the BravoTV Top Chef tour bus rolled into the Belcourt parking lot.

Jen: Oh but I love our neighborhood. I love that when they tore down the house next door, hipsters came from far and wide to drape themselves over the rubble and take dramatic MySpace pictures. Dee-lightful.

So we wandered over to the Belcourt, Jocelyn with her I ❤ Jim mug (The Office) in hand, and signed up for a seat. The man let us in b/c he liked Jocelyn’s mug. GO FIGURE. Then some Top Chefs, Antonia and that guy (I forgot his name) popped out of the side of the Top Chef trailor. They had them crammed in there like little clowns.

And as soon as they opened their mouths, the product placement commenced! The show itself is rife w/ product placement, but these people are pros. And clearly fans of Whole Foods.

Was it Ryan? Ryan was in charge of this demo, and he elected to make some meatless crustini for our enjoyment.

Joce: Yes, it was Ryan. Ryan Scott. I barely remembered him from the show. But it doesn’t matter, because he gave me two HUGE smooches after the cooking demo, and I happened to like it very much. Here are Ryan and Antonia in action:

 

They had an awesome, large tilting mirror adjusted above the cooking area so we could see what was going on there.

But I’ll be honest . . . the chefs talked so much about stuff that had nothing to do with the recipe, that I don’t even remember what was in the brushcetta-thingy they demonstrated for us. Especially Ryan. He kissed every woman within the square mile, and managed to talk a mile-a-minute while doing so. Impressive! Seriously, Jennifer only caught ONE picture of Ryan actually letting Antonia talk.

In true Jocelyn-fashion, I forgot to take a picture of the food because I scarfed it down like a shark, and had to take this picture of our neighbors’ samples instead:

For your benefit, I cropped the boobs off the girl in the forefront. I promise you. They were distracting.

While Ryan and Antonia promised that the recipe would be available online, I can’t seem to find it anywhere. But here are some of the other dishes that the Top Chefs cooked while on tour: Top Chef Tour Recipes

Jen: The Q&A was pretty good, but both of us were too chicken to ask the burning question….”What do you guys think of Padma’s skanky Hardee’s commercial”? I mean really. Who licks ketchup off their own leg after they’ve been prancing around New York City all day? *Gag reflex*

Here we are in the autograph line, dorkish glee barely contained:

Joce: Wow! That girl on the right has really big boobs too!

Jen: Here is Joce post-smooch on the side of the face (Ryan really did take a shine to her):

Here is the worst of all possible pictures. This is the magical effect I have on cameras:

Joce: Whatever, Jen. Ryan’s the one who looks a little like Bugs Bunny right here.

Our priceless keepsakes:

• autographed glamour shots of Antonia and Ryan
• a not-priceless “Top Chef” logo kitchen mitt (cost me fifteen bones, plus some Tennessee sales tax)
• heartburn
• two hours of geeking-out well spent

Jen: And this is what the cat was doing while we were gone:

 

 

Joce: We’re not “Top Chefs” yet, but maybe one day. 😉

Ciao, amigos!

Joce & Jennifer